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Life and its dilemmas

September 8, 2010

It took me lots of time to write this post. That is nothing new. I am always a bit apprehensive in writing the posts and then finally posting it. Always think that this should not look naive and silly. But then I remembered having read this:

Never be embarrassed to showcase your talents. The woods would be too silent if no birds sang except those that sang the best.

So finally I thought let me also clutter the webworld with something like those birds in woods.

Recently reading yayaver’s post “And this shit has got to stop” made me think again about quite a few questions that arise in my mind again and again.

A few of the things in the above post that struck me and I’d quote here are:

The reality of the world depends on where you stand. Its heaven for some creatures and full of illusion and suffering for me. 

Socialization by wearing a humble mask is making me schizophrenic. I wish to return to solitude and silence. Only that can bring order to my chaotic consciousness. Life is calling into the void, the wild inside can’t be tamed by false love and sympathy.

Nothing changes in the world however hard we try. Only death and life is inevitable and true. Rest of all existence is just Kafkaesque or Mithya.

I also remember here one of my comments on yayaver’s post 

“You know what is the greatest paradox of our life – want to do something different while we live…or becoming like everyone else when we die…..

I see many a people and observe that they are living – day in and day out – the same life….and they are never bothered about that..they are more than happy in that…a decent lifestyle, a decent income, family, children, children’s schooling and college..etc.etc…and then we are here who struggle to come out of this monotony yet unable to do so…then the paradoxical thinking comes that whether “they the people” are right in being happy in what they are doing or “we the people” who are unhappy with the monotony and try to come out of this and still unable to do so…….
Only “GOD” knows (if He is there somewhere)……
But frankly speaking I, talking about myself, with every passing day becoming more and more restive about all this…what direction, where, what destination, what path, when, and all sorts of questions eating me and making me hollow that will crumble sometime somewhere…..still trying to sustain….”

Questions that strike very often is about direction of life. What we want to do? Where we wish to be? Why we are here? What is our role in this cosmos?

 Thoreau says:

Be it life or death, we crave only for reality. If we are really dying, let us hear the rattle in our throats and feel cold in the extremities, if we are alive, let us go about our business.

Most of the time we are in dilemma about treading the less traversed path. Because it involves sacrifices. Not only the material sacrifices but also the emotional ones. Sacrifice of the way of living we are used to. Sacrifice of cosy comforts of life. Sacrifice of the feeling of security. Sacrifice of our image and perception. Sacrifice of various relations that we have built over the period of time.

The two most emergent questions that I confront is about career and marriage.

We want to do something that is different. Want to give a meaning to our lives. Don’t want to simply spent life to and fro to office and 9 to 7 (5 is past). Something different. Something worthy of living.  And all this involves taking risks, taking the unconventional path, taking the less traversed or new path.

The similar dilemma comes into picture regarding marriage also. Marriage means choosing a companion for life. And if we don’t wish to follow the conventional career path then finding a suitable partner becomes more difficult (I have read in newspapers about Dr. Binayak Sen, that how during his prison days his family always supported him in crisis). When someone says I don’t want to marry NOW; or I want to marry someone with whom I am comfortable spending my whole life then we should tune our ears to the following –  “Before we die we want to see you married.” – Grandparents; “We wanted to see our Bahu/Damad, we wanted to play with our grandchildren” – Parents, and so on etc. etc. 

 Then I remember:

Every human being has the right to search for happiness, and by ‘happiness’ is meant something that makes that individual feel content, not necessarily something that makes other people feel content.

 “Man is born free but everywhere he is in chains”Rousseau

We see that breaking the shakles is not an easy thing to do. Rousseau puts it wonderfully. But what about our lives. We don’t know what happens after we die, so we have got this one life and we have the right to live it the way we want to. At the end of every day we should not think – “Why does the every passing day gives a sense and feeling that life is being wasted. Instead why not that every day gives a feeling and sense of accomplishment, a sense of worthiness, a sense of meaning to life.”

And finally I would quote Paulo Coelho to end the post:

Each of us have our personal legend to fulfil, and that is all. It doesn’t matter if other people support us or criticize us, or ignore us, or put up with us – we are doing it because that is our destiny on the earth, and the fount of all joy.

Hope we all be aware of that personal legend and our destinies on this earth. Awareness is the greatest and most important thing that will lead us to the realisation of our destinies.


5 Comments leave one →
  1. September 8, 2010 3:54 PM

    Boss, dilemna about career and marriage with addition of family and social pressure makes it worse for the life. I am still unaware of the choices and path in front of me…

    Your comment is helpful for short term but I have started to believe that Best moments of life are always shared with some body else.

    • September 8, 2010 4:24 PM

      but I have started to believe that Best moments of life are always shared with some body else.

      That is where the solution lies. Belief. When we start believing something, we have atleast found that what we want. Doubt and belief are the two faces of same coin.


  2. September 9, 2010 2:23 PM

    good post…well written….awesome subject and interesting….wonderful presentation…keep blogging….best wishes

    My post link:


  3. September 11, 2010 11:37 PM

    very well written

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