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Breaking News

March 29, 2011

Report is just coming in that in a clandestine deal between Islamabad & New Delhi, the tomorrows India-Pakistan World Cup Semifinal match has been fixed. India has offered Kashmir to Pakistan in return of losing the semi final match. Mr. Shankar Shiv Menon who was spearheading the Indian delegation of interlocutors refused to comment on the new developments. However, our sources were able to reach a member each from the Indian delegation as well as Pakistani delegation who have confirmed the reports with a condition of anonymity.

Mr. A (from Indian side), has further informed that the discussions were leading to nowhere as Indian interlocutors wanted Sachin’s century also in the package. He informed to us that, “Pakistanis were adamantly opposed to the idea of Sachin’s 100th century against their team in the WC semifinal. However, on pressing with the idea of Kashmir being given to them and also after a call from Mr. Gilani, they reluctantly agreed.”

News is also coming in that the Prime Ministers of India and Pakistan will announce the resolution of Kasmir dispute in the post match presentation ceremony after presenting Sachin with the Man of the Match trophy. Congress has supported the idea, Mr.Tanish Tiwary, the congress spokesman, had to say following to us ‘off the record’, “You see, in the jubilation of India’s victory against Pakistan, we will be able to solve a 65 year old dispute, is it not great? It is Congress’ innovative ideas and determination by which we are able to solve the problem,” he further stressed.

Some of the God’s (Sachin) fan who came to know about this have exuded confidence that now this will pave the way for Bharat Ratna to the God. One such fan Rajaram, exuberant with the news, had following to say to us, “You see, is it not great 100 100s, that means 10,000 runs only from centuries…!!”

BJP is also supposed to be happy with this as the Govt. kept them informed about developments on real time basis. Only issue is the news should not reach to US envoys in New Delhi. Govt. supposedly asked them not to worry as Govt. itself is wary of these US envoys and keeping the matter top secret & classified.

We also sought views of Mr.Vijay Mallya on the reported news leak. He was excited hearing the news. “We are expecting our beer sales to jump by more than 50% because of this new development” he said, further adding, “already during India-Audtralia match we saw jump in sales by 25%.” “You see people tend to gulp more and more bottles in these high octane matches, and that too especially if India is winning, people stay longer in bars and so on,” he further said explaining his reasoning.

Nira Radia has also issued an unofficial statement saying that she does not have any role is this deal and offered her telephone conversations’ recording to the authorities which she has been keeping as a measure of caution.

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